The King's Curse

And his hopes and dreams were crushed under the harsh boot of reality, for he realized that he could never be loved back by the one he so desires. She killed him and insulted him, destroying his morale, leaving him completely dead inside, and now all he wants to do is get away from it all. How foolish he was, the fairytales he was told of, the prince he so badly wanted to be, could not be true, and were just false realities. He sets himself down, waiting to feel better, hoping that he will be purified of his feelings soon, but knowing that he shall never be free of his curse, for he cannot go without loving, loving too much. Damned to walk the surface, never being with her, his princess, the curse that keeps him from happiness but keeps others so happy. He loves too much but is so easily hurt. On his throne he whispers to his mirror, "I wish to die. Make it so." but to no avail, the mirror staying as inanimate as ever, said nothing back nor acted in any manor otherwise. Louder he states, "I wish to die. Make it so." to an empty room, no one around to hear, especially not the one he craves. Screaming now, "I wish to die! Make it so!" he unsheathes his dagger, passed down from his father, and his father before that, and plunges it into his abdomen, knowing the pain of heartbreak, nothing worse could be done to him, this wound was nothing compared to his curse and he welcomed the warm trickling feeling of his own life. He rips the dagger from himself and plunges it deep into his chest, missing his heart by just a finger's length. Screaming through the pain, the pain of never being loved by the one he loves, he pulled his dagger once more, for the final time, and drove it straight through his heart. If he could not be loved then no one could be loved by him, for his curse, while making others happy, killed him more and more every day. He loved too much and was always hurt. The king has taken his life.

The King's Curse

"I wish to die! Make it so!"

"...for the final time, and drove it straight through his heart. "

"The king has taken his life."

The King's Curse

Over And Over

Tonight I made special enchiladas for dinner and they smelled pretty good. I only had some Enchilada Sauce, Cheese, and Chicken in them but they still count as enchaladas. Anyway, I take my first bite, expecting to taste a delicious blend of foods and cultures. No, it tasted like crap. After a few minutes of sitting next to it this ridiculous idea popped into my mind. "What if it tastes better now?" as if something would actively make it better. So I took another bite. No, still crap. It happened again two more times. I don't know why but I kept thinking that maybe it would taste better the next time I tried it. It's sitting right next to me on a plate waiting for me to eat it some more but I don't want to. You will tempt me no longer you Enchilada.

My New Blog

If you haven't already, go check out my newest blog titled "My Art". It's a gallery of many pictures I've made on my school provided laptop. It will eventually become my Photo gallery as well when I get back into the habit of taking photos. So please take the time to go check them out and send me feedback, leave a comment, maybe share it with some friends.

Today Is Terrible

I'm exhausted. All week I've been sick. I had to sit with my family and watch things that I do not approve of, things that I don't want to see, but they happened anyway. What I thought was a cold has gotten worse, after coming home from eating out, I went upstairs to fall asleep, because I want this day to be over, but instead of listening to music and falling asleep, my body took a turn for the worse. I ran to the bathroom and got sick. I was there for maybe an hour. Getting sick with a sore throat does not feel good, it felt like I was being stabbed by thousands of pins in my esophagus. I finally got up when I thought I could hold it back, after standing up my eyes glazed over and I fell back and hit my head on the wall. Not only do I have a burning throat, arthritis aching wrists, and the worst headache I've ever had, but now I have a lump on the back of my cranium. Mom calls it a goose egg, thanks for the boost mom... I want this day to be over, so much, it's been nothing but trouble.

My New Motto

I made this picture fairly quickly in Microsoft Paint, don't hate the quality because I really like it.

Blog it Out

Bring On The Blogs

Here come more rants... I honestly forgot how much I dislike people. Once again school, you have shown me how bad the human population really is...

Job Hunting

Today I turned in my first application for a job in a while. It's been at least three months since I've applied anywhere so I'm hoping I'll be getting a few phone calls within the next week or two. I picked up a few more applications elsewhere and I plan on handing those in tomorrow.

School

However soon it may start up again for others, it always happens. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a week, maybe you're out of school. One question is always asked a million times and more. "Are you ready for school?" The only time anyone should ever say no to that question is if they're in kindergarten and have not gone to school in before. Having a year of experience is good enough to be ready every year of your life, stop complaining about it. School for me starts tomorrow and honestly I'm not nervous, not in the least bit. I'm ready for it and I've been ready for a while. With school starting soon though, I'll be kept busy and won't be able to update my blogs as often.

Problematic Repetition.

I keep doing it, I keep making myself feel worse and worse. I can't "Un-see" things, as it's put today, and the things I see are nauseiating. I honestly hate myself right now and don't want to do anything. I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that never goes away, it won't leave me alone no matter what, when I'm having fun, I'm just distracting myself from it, when I acknowledge it, I feel worse. It's like a demon inside me, slowly killing me, waiting for that moment to kill me. Sometimes I'd rather let it do whatever while I just lie down and sleep out the pain, the anger, the rage, the fury, the uncontrollable torment. It's unbearable. I want someone to help me but I can't ask, no one understand what I understand, no one knows what I know.

Taking a Break

Recently I deactivated my facebook account. Honestly I felt as though I was spending too much time on facebook and wasn't being as active as I should have been. I don't think I need facebook so now I don't have one.