Problematic Repetition.

I keep doing it, I keep making myself feel worse and worse. I can't "Un-see" things, as it's put today, and the things I see are nauseiating. I honestly hate myself right now and don't want to do anything. I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that never goes away, it won't leave me alone no matter what, when I'm having fun, I'm just distracting myself from it, when I acknowledge it, I feel worse. It's like a demon inside me, slowly killing me, waiting for that moment to kill me. Sometimes I'd rather let it do whatever while I just lie down and sleep out the pain, the anger, the rage, the fury, the uncontrollable torment. It's unbearable. I want someone to help me but I can't ask, no one understand what I understand, no one knows what I know.